Why oh why did I just waste the day on this shit?

I just missed tucking my daughter in because I've been trying to wrangle Jersey's Moxy into working properly. Jersey guys: you have done great work, but this Moxy thing is a PIECE OF SHIT. I'm sorry, but I am tired and grumpy. I have used Jackson so successfully with Jersey in the past, but I wanted to believe your docs on Moxy. I wanted to believe it would "just work". Boy...moxy sucks. I should have just stuck with Jackson. I'm so pissed off I need to write a silly blog post to calm down. What really pisses me off, is every single thing I was trying to make work with Moxy, just immediately worked when I switched to Jackson.

Thank god for Stack Overflow: http://stackoverflow.com/questions/29322605/how-to-return-a-json-object-from-a-hashmap-with-moxy-and-jersey

I should have listened to the answer better. Apparently the answer to how to get Moxy to work is not to use Moxy.: "For this reason, and actually many others I have encountered in the past, I do no recommend using MOXy even though it is recommended by Jersey. Instead, use Jackson. Jackson has been the defacto Java goto for JSON processing for a while. For Jackson, just use this dependence".

Another annoyance in this whole fiasco has been that the interwebs are littered with descriptions of how to use ResourceConfig...but there are multiple versions of ResourceConfig. What the fuck?

https://jersey.java.net/apidocs/2.4.1/jersey/org/glassfish/jersey/server/ResourceConfig.html
https://jersey.java.net/apidocs/1.1.5/jersey/com/sun/jersey/api/core/ResourceConfig.html

They have different interfaces. So you'll find a snippet like this, which pertains to the old 1.1.5 API. Thus totally confusing the fuck out of you: http://stackoverflow.com/questions/9490123/how-do-i-enable-pojo-mapping-programatically-in-jersey-using-grizzly2

Moxy blows. Jackson rules. Punk is out. Rap is in.